Every week, Dave Anderson of Articulate poses a different e-learning challenge. This week, the challenge is “10 Things Instructional Designers Hate to Hear“. Click the link to read the essences of the challenge.
Off the top of my head, here is my list:
- No, you don’t need the SME’s contact information. Everything you need is in that 495 page PDF I just placed at your desk.
- When? How long do you think you need to just make that 495 page PDF on your desk into a course? I could do it in a day! (and I’m always thinking…fine, you do it then).
- Talk to the actual users? Why? That 495 page PDF on your desk tells you everything you need to know in order to train them.
- Of COURSE we need a course! If we just emailed a job aid, how can we tell they actually learned everything in the 495 page PDF on your desk?!?
- Yes, I agree you should probably touch on what they need to do with this information. But the really interesting stuff is the first 490 pages of the PDF on your desk describing the history of everything.
- Can you dress up the course with some pictures or clip art…you know, those string people? I couldn’t figure out how to include them in that 495 page PDF on your desk.
- Why do we need a kick-off meeting with the SMEs, actual users, and everyone? Everyone already knows you’re going to take the information in that 495 page PDF that’s gathering dust on your desk.
- I know you just finished turning that 495 page PDF document into a course, but I just learned from the SME that was an obsolete document. You’ll need to start over with this 1023 page PDF.
- Soft copy? Of the 1023 page PDF? Why do you need a soft copy of anything? Can you just copy and paste?
- Oh yeah, we’ve just decided that people need to pass quizzes at the end of each of the 50 chapters in that 1023 page PDF. You can just whip that up tonight, right?
Tree of Learning 
Love it, well actually I hate it, but can relate. By the way, can you make the course so it advances on its own so they cannot click to go to the next screen? I want to make sure they have “learned” every page.
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And can you make it “cool” by forcing them to click on 10 different objects on each screen to find the hidden “treasure”? And, of course, they can’t advance until they’ve clicked on each object…
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#11 – “I know I told you A, B and C were the real goals of the course, but I will never use this course you killed yourself making because you didn’t include the 100 pictures I collected over my career (that have nothing to do with A, B, or C).”
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#12 – The 53rd week in a row of hearing “I’ll get the content to you NEXT week” when you know legal deadline for delivering the course is 2 weeks away (or 2 months past!).
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#13 – “We need to send this out to the 2 dozen other SME and get their feedback.”
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#14 – Them: “It doesn’t look anything like I expected.” You: “You refused to meet with me all year to clarify your instructions. You never answered any of my emailed questions.” Them: “Still, you should respect the subject-matter-expert.” This is cathartic!
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#15 – “True I ignored you and this enormous course for a year, but I finally reviewed the 10th version. I’m appalled by how much work it still needs.”
Me: “Great! What needs changing?”
Them: “Well, this typo for instance.”
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And the “typo” is probably a mistake in itself. Like adding an apostrophe to “its,” the possessive pronoun.
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“Still, you should respect the subject-matter-expert.” LOLOL
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Come on Tricia don’t exaggerate.
You know that ‘Using Cyborg HR’ was only 475 pages.
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#16 “I will be narrating this 1023 page pdf myself.” “Script? Who needs a script?”
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Brandie: In a monotone with occasional detours into the complex details of nothingness…
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You don’t need a graphics subscription.
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“Ask bob to record the narration”. (Bob is a SME with zero time and zero voiceover experience – but he has a laptop with a built in mic and a free afternoon at home watching his 5 year old twins and miniature chihuahua). So that’s logically the best candidate…
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Ah, Bob the SME who has the barking dog on all conference calls. Yep, I know Bob.
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Graphics? Who needs a graphics subscription? What’s wrong with these 10 yr-old clip art images in the 1023 page PDF on your desk?
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Brilliant. And, sadly…entirely true!
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Michelle, that’s why I whipped this out in less than 5 minutes.
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By the way, can you edit the audio, you know…slow it down and add more time where necessary?
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Brandie: And by the way, we need to use Bob the SME’s audio…can you take out his yapping chihuahua and the argument he had with his wife about their 5 yr-old twins? And oh yeah, you know how you can photoshop stuff into pictures? Just do that with this audio and make his Texas accent sound British. By tomorrow. Thanks!
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Have you seen this before, Tricia? http://www.obsidianlearning.com/samples/destructional_design.html It’s from Monica Savage’s company (Obsidian). @mpsavage
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This is the best video ever! Thank you @mpsavage and Obsidian
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“And when we contracted on this as a 40% new development project, we were being generous. Yeah, there’s no existing instructor guide or participant guide or job aids or design document, but all the information is in that 495-page PDF on your desk, so that counts as 60% of the analysis, design, development, and evaluation.” TRUE STORY.
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It is so sad how much of a reality this is for us. And funny.
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So true. Decades ago I used a PST – Project Steering Team of the client and other key stakeholders to preempt SMEs, and sell them on the performance goals (vs knowledge goals), discuss the performance barrier’s as they saw them, establish a quick and dirty ROI, outline the quick process, discuss yhe key outputs that they would review along the way and their utility to the end product and impact, the review milestones, process and dates where they would make key business decisions and settle the inevitable disagreements. The SME (I prefer Master Performers) has a role for inut and review, but not instructional design … or they should DIY.
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So very typical. It’s the bain of our profession. Since most leaders have college degrees, they think there’s not much to designing courses other than a great personality and a big pile of PowerPoint slides. Been doing this ISD work for over 35 years, and just do as best as I can with what I’m allowed. I still love this profession. 😃
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Or, as I have heard countless times, “Front end analysis? What’s front end analysis? I gave you the training slides that we’ve been using for the last 15 years! That has eveyrthing you need.”
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